The Birthday Alphabet
by glockcourage
Summary: A/N: better late than never.


**The Birthday Alphabet**

_**Haggard**_

I know she's tired going from Suna to here then back again. Why she likes a slacker clown like me, I don't know…_Tch,_ maybe I do. Because whenever she arrives, I stop sleeping and I stop staring at the sky and procrastinating. I do whatever she wants. I'm like a personal slave. And when she gets back to Suna, she's recharged. _Why?_ Because I may not exude that much of a energy but I am her energy.

_**Affinity**_

She's three years older than me. She lives in a different village. She's a woman. She's troublesome. _By kami,_ I shouldn't feel like this. We should be like in opposite ends, never to see eye to eye with each other. But I feel the pull. Our minds are wired alike. It only takes a while before our hearts recognize that we are the same.

_**Pitiless**_

I make mistakes and when I blame myself she says I should. She's too hard. If I want to be soothed she's the last person I'm supposed to go to. But _what the hell_ like a masochist I still seek her out. Her words are like barbs but the wounds she inflicts are good for my soul…_a sort of penance?_ _Nah_, I just want to hear her voice… _I just_ block whatever she's saying.

_**Painful**_

My mom will kill me if she knows what I and that woman are doing behind her back. Gaara and Kankuro will skewer me alive and then leave me to bleed until the vultures come and tear at my flesh if they get an inkling that their sister is fooling around with me. But as I zip my pants and put on my crumpled shirt back, Temari utters, "The same time tomorrow," and I reply, "Yeah". If I'm gonna die, I'm still gonna die satisfied.

_**Yapping**_

She says I'm a lazy bastard. She says I'm a crybaby because she saw me that one time. She says that I always need rescuing, that I should train more _blah blah blah_. She also says and I quote, _"Shikamaru…you would have made an outstanding Hokage…"_ Not that I want to but coming from her…_tch,_ that's great—_fucking awesome_— praise.

_**Breathless**_

The first time I saw her with her hair down, my breath hitched. I wonder why she hides the sun that is her hair in four pigtails. _Tch,_ but I'm glad she does that because when her golden tresses frame her face, she—_she_ looks like a goddess—_albeit _less fearsome and softer…and that appearance is reserve for me. And then I saw her take her clothes off slowly. I still wonder why I was able to breathe later. Blonde and uncovered, _how did I get so lucky?_

_**IRritable**_

I'm lazy. Anyone knows that. It's my nature. Look what I did to this thing. Like a genius I combined two letters. It makes my work easier and faster. But she doesn't agree. She's irritated that I do things half-heartedly; that I don't even want to be a jounin in the first place. Then I said to her I do things half-assed so she could catch up. _Damn woman_ gave me a head lump the size of her fist.

_**THankful**_

All the great things in my life are somehow tied with that woman. I don't think I have thanked her properly yet_…Tch,_ when I die, I will enumerate all that I'm grateful for and thank her. She smacks me for mentioning death. As I glare at her, she glowers back. If I want to thank her, I must live she orders.

_**Damn **_

I think I swore more than I used to. She _and her_ brothers bring out the worst in me. Kankuro told me she loves someone new in Suna. I couldn't just take a break then so I stewed for weeks. I think I took out a lot of trees _training _at the time, venting my frustration then a message from the Kazekage arrived, inviting me to a wedding. I saw red. I became irresponsible and went to Suna, running as fast as my feet could go. Panting, I saw her in a white dress, embracing _and c_ongratulating the bride.

Later, I found out that the bride is the new found friend—that she _loves._ _Damn it._

_**Arguments**_

We have a lot of those. She likes ramen but I don't want to see and be annoyed by Naruto when I'm with her. So we argue. I want to lie quietly on the grass with her on my arms but she wants to train and use my body as target. She wants to stay in Suna. I want to stay here then later when I finally decide to stay with her in Suna, she changes her mind and wants to come live here_. Seriously, women!_

_**Yours**_

So _damn_ corny but I told her that. I said, "I'm yours." And the woman just laughed. She boasted that she had already claimed ownership of me to all the females in Konoha, Suna and the other villages.

Tch, of course, I wouldn't go around Suna claiming ownership. That woman is her own person and treating her as a piece of property is a dumb move.

Now, as I wonder if I have become more whipped, a good looking Suna shinobi around her age approaches her and greets her suddenly with an embrace. She reciprocates with a painful kick to the shin and viciously demands to be released immediately…_Tch,_ that's _my _woman, fiercely independent. At least I can claim that in my mind.

—o0o—

A/N: Technically I'm one and a half hour late, not a day late for Temari's birthday. I would have made it too if I didn't need money. The person who said, 'Money is the root of all evil,' may be right but evil is such a strong word so I would replace it with bad. So yeah money is the root of—_my bad._

Review?


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